Focus

I did badly in my Chemistry. Really badly... I know i am going to fail this time. Everyone was asking me to focus on next subject, don't think too much about it...My roommate, Y, Yoon See and my other friends, all saying the same thing to me. But i still will think of it because i really put in effort this time. I 'm not play play this time... I'm serious. Even though i always online during the exam but i stayed awake until very late to replace back the time i used to surf the Internet. I sacrificed my sleeping time for the exam. Everyday i sleep for 4 to 5 hours only... This is unhealthy. I shouldn't be doing this...

And now... This is what i get. FAIL. This is what i am going to see when i receive my result slip.

Honestly, i can't take any pressure anymore. Especially those from my parents. I don't know how to face them with this kind of result. I don't feel like want to go home at this moment. I'm so stress whenever my sister call to me. How am i going to tell them about this? Or just wait till they receive the result slip from my school? What reaction will i get from them? Sad? Disappointment? Angry? Shaking their head? Saying those harsh words to me? Whatever their reaction , it's hurting me... a lot...

Don't they know i feel sad too? What you all think huh? I purposely fail in my exam? Why should i do this? Why should i playing with my future? Don't push me too hard because i will do thing out of you all expectation. I really mean it. I actually think of commit suicide before this. One day if i really can't take it anymore, this is going to happen.

I hope it is not the end of the day. I will focus in my Mathematics and Physics now. This is what i can do for now. Fail in Chemistry but if i can score good in the other 3 subjects may make a change. Maybe i still can twist back everything. If only i score well in this 3 subjects.

If not, this is the end of my life...