Change

i can't be like this anymore
i need to be more talkative
i need to change from a passive person to a more active person
gotta boost up my confidence level
read more,experience more, learn more and practice more english
so that i have topics to chat with other peoples
i seriously need a change
to be a more attractive person
a pretty face is just not enough
i need to be more sociable and talkative~
MUST

first of all i have to upgrade my english level ...
i want to marry with a banana. lol.
i want to upgrade myself so that i can find a better partner.

对不起,谢谢

对不起
给了你希望又把它毁掉了
明明说好顺其自然的
最后反悔的是我

谢谢你
在我需要人陪伴的时候
一直都陪着我
那一个多月才熬得过去

对你冷淡
总好过我这里和他复合
那里又和你搞暧昧吧?

最后还是和他复合了
也不懂这么做对不对
最后会不会受伤?
但是不想想这么多了

爱...就对了

It's time to let go

He already deleted everything about me and didn't find me for almost 2 weeks. Well, was a little bit sad when seeing this...hmmm...
I think it's time for me to let go and move on with my new life now.
I am sure i can do it. I have to put him down. He can forget me just like that so am i. Sometimes i am just wonder why he can let go everything so easily. 7 months is not a short term.
However, i need courage and strength from you, My Lord.
Please give me the strength to move on with my life and take everything easy.
Please help me, My Lord.
Honestly, i feel better this time, as compare to the last relationship.
Maybe i am just not that into him.

带我走~

整天呆在家,也不是一件好事...久久回家一次,他们比较会珍惜...

很烦很烦 听到你们的声音就觉得很烦人

好想离开这里

还是一个人比较自在

我想背包旅行

去韩国,日本,巴黎,欧美国家....

读书?为的是什么?

人生短短几十年,为什么还要浪费时间在读书?

12/06/2011

分手了
还差两天就8个月
我的心也是会痛的

To my Dad

:'(

i really didn't mean to lie you...sorry dad.

i know you sure will be disappointed when you know about it.

i hope it will be a secret forever.

pls......... i hope no one will get to know about it.

Failed

With one more mark, i can pass my sem 1 theory exam... 7 marks more i can pass in the FOP, which means i failed in both of the exam. even a pass in my practical cannot compensate the results now...

ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am kinda sure many peoples passed the exam. why only 1 mark? i feel so frustrated about the one mark. this is the second times already. always is the one mark which made me fail.

so have to resit for these two paper... give me a pass in either one i will feel grateful now so that i don't have to resit the both. why everyone can pass but i can't?

can God fullfil my this little wish? i will be very thankful...

Sorry

Sorry mummy...
i promise next time i won't come back so late again. i will be back before 12 o'clock...

promise~

today i said something wrong during the gathering. my friend suddenly ask me whether i am still available. i told him i am not available. zZZZzzzzzZ. actually i want to tell him that i am still single and available one, but dunno why i answered him like that. maybe is because he ask me too suddenly already.

hope it won't create any misunderstanding la. i want to clarify to him but when i think twice, whatever la, just forget it. maybe it is better for people to think that i am in a relationship now. hmmm dunno la...like this later no people court me le.

huh...

To mum

i am not a good daughter to you, i know u think like that as well. because i always not listen to what you said and seldom help you in doing the house chore.but i really hope that u know how much i love you. I LOVE YOU MUM.

i know you don't like me spend a lot of money sometimes. i promise i will try to control a bit next time.

i want to apologise to you for what i did or said last time which hurted you a lot. but i don't dare to do it face to face with you. SORRY MUM, PLEASE FORGIVE ANY WRONG THINGS I'VE DONE BEFORE.



from,
your daughter,
ELAINE

This is not what i want!!!

Just now went to cut my hair in a very cheap saloon. And now i feel so upset with it because this is not the hairstyle that i wish for. My hair looks like an idiot now... too short, and somemore don't have the shape.

Why i just can't bear with the long hair? I am so regret now. I already bought the straightener for the long hair last time and now i go and cut it.

I am such a dumb ass hole!

Everytime i look at the mirror i feel like want to F*** the hairstylist.

I swear no more next time. I will never go into cheap saloon anymore!!!

p/s: my hair please grow faster. I don't want to look like an idiot for any longer...please...

空虚 ......

A lot of things to study...Sometimes feel like wanna find someone to talk to. But all my friends seem so far from me now especially those who were very close to me last time. Some i really don't like their changes. I prefer they remain the same as last time. Why peoples need to change?

The one i want to avoid keep bugging me, I really don't know i can bear with her until when...

Luckily he is having holiday now... At least i have someone to chat with... Thank you so much...

*Real friends are really hard to find, there was once i thought i own a fews but now...

I doubt it...kinda disappointed...

Turning point

This post is late for one month. It should be here long time ago but i don't have time to blog about it .

Well just two weeks before i am going to start my class in Mahsa, the people from marketing told me that they're going to postpone the course to next year April. The course i applied was Degree in Biomedical Sciences...28/9 is the date of registration and 16/9 only they told me this...

SHIT!!! DAMN IT!!! That was the first thing coming out from my mind... How could this happen to me? And you know what? Now is already end of September, other universities had already started their courses for September intake. Even if i wanna change school, I have to wait till next year January...

Everything happened so suddenly. I just broke down the moment they told me about this... Don't know what should i do now?

At last i managed to get into Degree in Physiotherapy but it was July batch, which means i was far far behind others for 2 months. However i have no other choice...

Now is almost 2 weeks, so far I'm not regret with the decision i made at that time... Luckily... And sometimes when i am thinking back, if i go for biomedical science in Inti College, i may really regret now...

Decision

Don't know whether i made the right decision this time...

Give up the jpa scholarship and choose to pay the fees by loan. Only stupid people will do this I think...

I do miss AIMST and the people there... But the thing is all of my close friends are not there already, even though I go back many things will be change. There will not be the same anymore. Well, of course this is not the main reason i don't want to go back lar...

By the way, since I already choose my path then I shouldn't think of it anymore. Feeling regret now also can't make things change, so better don't doubt my decision anymore...

My allowances all gone... No more allowance this time... T.T

Ohhhh...... I can't wait to start the new chapter of my life now...... 2 more weeks to let me enjoy my days here...

She think she is very beautiful, always like to show off in her blog. But in my eyes, for me her look is okay only... Not ugly la, but can't consider very pretty/beautiful also...

Every time will write how the guys wanted to approach her and how she rejected them. Who knows it is really or not? Even it is real, not necessary we must write it out and let everyone know what. That's why last time i will said she likes attention from peoples.

Haiz... But i can't tell her how i feel about her so directly because she is one of my close friends. I really can't stand the way she showing off there... I mean how can there still have this kind of people in this world? Always think herself is very pretty and got the body curve... Okay, maybe people also think you are pretty and got the body shape, but shouldn't we be more humble?

Can't you be a bit low profile? This is one of the reasons why my friends don't like you.

Your look is just ordinary, not that beautiful actually. Many girls are prettier than you, so don't always show off with some small matters. Who never get compliments from others? Do you really need to write them all out? Gosh...

All you want is just fame, attention and the feeling of proud... Right?

Lol...am i jealous? Nah... I am a low profile. I won't SHOW OFF like what she did in her blog... If i wanna show off i will show in a secret blog because i know the readers will know you are showing off...

Focus

I did badly in my Chemistry. Really badly... I know i am going to fail this time. Everyone was asking me to focus on next subject, don't think too much about it...My roommate, Y, Yoon See and my other friends, all saying the same thing to me. But i still will think of it because i really put in effort this time. I 'm not play play this time... I'm serious. Even though i always online during the exam but i stayed awake until very late to replace back the time i used to surf the Internet. I sacrificed my sleeping time for the exam. Everyday i sleep for 4 to 5 hours only... This is unhealthy. I shouldn't be doing this...

And now... This is what i get. FAIL. This is what i am going to see when i receive my result slip.

Honestly, i can't take any pressure anymore. Especially those from my parents. I don't know how to face them with this kind of result. I don't feel like want to go home at this moment. I'm so stress whenever my sister call to me. How am i going to tell them about this? Or just wait till they receive the result slip from my school? What reaction will i get from them? Sad? Disappointment? Angry? Shaking their head? Saying those harsh words to me? Whatever their reaction , it's hurting me... a lot...

Don't they know i feel sad too? What you all think huh? I purposely fail in my exam? Why should i do this? Why should i playing with my future? Don't push me too hard because i will do thing out of you all expectation. I really mean it. I actually think of commit suicide before this. One day if i really can't take it anymore, this is going to happen.

I hope it is not the end of the day. I will focus in my Mathematics and Physics now. This is what i can do for now. Fail in Chemistry but if i can score good in the other 3 subjects may make a change. Maybe i still can twist back everything. If only i score well in this 3 subjects.

If not, this is the end of my life...